What is your full name, and what is the story behind it?

I feel like I answered this question pretty well in the post about my birth, so I will pivot a little bit into a life lesson, which is my prerogative as your dad, I think.

One of my favorite pieces of literature is Arthur Miller’s play The Crucible.¹ Written during the 1950s when Sen. Joseph McCarthy was using the power of the US Senate to accuse people of secretly being Communists attempting to infiltrate the US Government, the play tells the story of the Salem witch trials in 1692, drawing a parallel between those trials and the craziness of McCarthyism.

In the play, the protagonist, John Proctor is accused of being a witch and brought before the court to face trial. He is told that if he confesses to being a witch, he will live and be able to return to his home, where his wife waits for him expecting a baby.

At first, he confesses, but when he is asked to write and sign his confession, he can’t do it. He can’t lie to live while others tell the truth and hang. So, he tells the court that he won’t sign it. When they ask him why, he says

“Because it is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life! Because I lie and sign myself to lies! Because I am not worth the dust on the feet of them that hang! How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; leave me my name!”

I have thought a lot about those words and the enduring legacy of a name. In a digital world where our footprints are permanent, it is more critical than ever that our actions match our values. Building a name worth having requires us to be real, honest, and kind in every interaction.

In the play, Proctor’s main concern was that his own soul and name were clean to himself. Unfortunately in our world, our reputation isn’t decided by us. It’s decided by other’s perception of us. That being said, the better approach to this is the Proctor approach. If we are the best people we can be, if we are true to our names and our values, others will trust us and value what we have to offer. So, worry about your own actions and integrity, and everything else will fall into place.

I have had a lot of opportunities come my way because people know me and trust me. I have also seen people passed over for opportunities because the opposite was true. Humans make a lot of decisions based on their perception of other humans. Never leave room for others to doubt your character. Always be honest. Always be kind. And always work hard. If you do that, your life will be more full and rich than you can imagine.

Remember your name.

Bonus

Here is the scene I have referenced above. It is powerful. If you haven’t read or seen the play, you should definitely do it.

Were you named after someone?

I don’t think so. I’ve often thought of my name as a bit of an afterthought because I was supposed to be “Stephanie,” but I’m not sure where it actually came from. I’m still waiting for the ‘official’ word from Grandma Jan on why they pivoted to Jeffrey specifically—stay tuned for a potential update if she finally remembers!

What about your middle name?

In the Winget family, it is tradition for at least one boy to have their father’s name as their middle name. So, my middle name is Steven after Grandpa Steve. It’s pretty obvious that I was slow on this tradition, since it’s our youngest whose middle name is Jeffrey, but Steven and Owen are both named after wonderful men in the family. William is the only boy whose first name isn’t a family name (although it’s a special name!), so it makes sense for him to get my name as his middle name.

Anyway, it’s sometimes hard to be named after someone. It makes the pressure of honoring your name even more. I definitely felt that growing up.

As a side note, your Great Grandpa Winget told me when I was a teenager that I needed to have a son to carry on the Winget name. He would be proud of all of my children, but he would be tickled that I have three proud Winget boys.

Today’s Song